Vira's Peculiar Night
by Calico Yorki
Summary: This story is uncouth and lewd. Do not read if you are of an inappropriate age or have tender sentiments. Also, I don't know just how far I'm allowed to push the Mature rating, so some of you may have to curb your enthusiasm, for the moment. ... In which Vira looks for trouble to get into, and finds a whooole lot of it.


It was a fairly uneventful night in the Haunted Woods. No one from outside to spook, no parties, no battles at the Stone Dome...So, Vira decided to look for some trouble to get into. It had actually gotten so late that the Brain Tree needed a rest; so, Vira decided to squirm in behind its trunk. She'd always wondered what laid back there, and was excited that she finally had a chance to see.

When she got in there, however, Vira found her upper body stuck. In the Tree's sleep, one of the lower branches swung their way up. This lifted Vira's skirt up, and she could feel a cold breeze on her shapely bottom. Now, Vira tended to wear very skimpy underwear. Yet today, all of her panties had to be washed. That meant that now, she was stuck halfway behind the Brain Tree, bare-assed for anyone to take a look. There were any number of ways this could end up terribly, and all of them were running through Vira's head as her face burned and she tried to squirm her way all the way through.

For one thing, she had a special relationship with Balthazar. If Hanso the Ixi and Brynn the Kougra saw hearts for each other, Balthazar and Vira were looking at each other through pitch black spades. Or at least clubs, but this is a discussion we'll have when the narrative isn't focused on a mutated Acara who's stuck in a tree, mooning anyone who might happen to walk by. If we're going to explain this concisely, then Vira and Balthazar hated each other in the most friendly of ways. They would normally get along quite well, having fun bickering and biting each other's ears affectionately; but there was no doubt in Vira's mind that if he found her in this state, he'd probably give her rump a few good slaps, then wake the whole Woods to get a good look. Edna would be hollering about indecency, some Chia Clowns might decide to have some target practice with their banana cream pies, and in the end, they'd leave her there to get her own way out for however many hours or days or _weeks_ it could take. And if anyone from Neopia Central brought pictures back home...

"Hell no," Vira breathed. She continued wiggling her way through, and by getting herself turned to the side, she managed to both fix her skirt and force her way further in. It took more contorting to fit her combat boots through, but soon, Vira was able to get herself all the way in. It took more careful movements to prevent any further mishaps, but in just a little while, Vira had made her way far enough to drop to the other side. Yet now, she was stuck over a hole in the ground. A big hole, and one that forced her to stand on the tips of her boots at the edges, and prop her hands against the Brain Tree and the dense thicket behind it. "I'm beginning to think this was a stupid idea," Vira seethed.

She tried fluttering her wings, but found that she didn't have enough room. That meant she'd have to climb her way out, which she was entirely capable of. But something was going on down below her. "Huh?" Vira could feel something tickling between her knees. "Oh shit," the leathery-winged Acara said pitifully. It felt like breathing, and it was getting harder. Her skirt was ruffling at the edges. "No." Her skirt was going up higher. "Nonono." There was deep inhalation below Vira, and that was the only warning she got. An almighty gust blew right up between her legs, completely turning her skirt inside-out. With a squeak, Vira flattened down both sides of her skirt and clapped her legs together.

Immediately upon doing so, Vira plummeted like a stone into the hole. It was completely dark in there, and still too narrow for Vira to risk opening her wings. With a shriek of "Dammit dammit _dammiiit!_", Vira finally dropped into a cavern. She had little time to look around before landing ass-first on something. That rubbery, slimey feeling wasn't pleasant in any sort of way, especially not on the exposed lower-half of Vira's tookus. She tried to get up, but as Vira's hands pressed down, there was a loud grumbling. Then, she found herself lifted up so that she was straddling a gigantic tentacle. And Vira had seen enough hentai to know where this was going.

Needless to say, it was hard to fight. Those tentacles and feelers groped and tickled every last crevasse they could find. At times, Vira couldn't help but giggle and snort; then there were the more often times, where she angrily screamed bloody murder and tried to get free of the jiggling nightmare. The sticky protuberances prodded Vira in special places she didn't even _know_ were special in any way (let alone _that_ way), and all the while, there were huge, globular eyes watching her from high above. Even for all the things Vira had done, there was nothing which could make her deserve the positions she was put in; nor the exploration done of her body. It was only when the tentacles shuddered out a transparent green liquid that they fell limp. Wanting to shower for a full month straight, Vira looked for any way out. She shivered at the squishing under her feet, fur and clothes slick with a substance she didn't so much as _dare_ to contemplate, and made her way to a dim staircase.

Up, up, up she went, trailing little speckles of _uugh_. Thankfully, as the beast began to grumble and awaken again, Vira made her way up to a trapdoor. It was unlocked ("_Thank Fyora,_" Vira uncharacteristically exclaimed), and Vira made sure to close it tight behind her. But now, she was in a sealed stone chamber, with some kind of stone ring in the center. As soon as Vira stepped towards the stone ring, however, a figure carrying a lamp opened the doorway and bustled through. The familiar, diminutive green Zafara sized Vira up.

"So," Edna said simply, "You found It." With a good guess as to what It was, Vira nodded. Edna shook her head with a sigh, taking her spoon out of her sleeve. "Honestly, that thing is such a pain to deal with," Edna said, spoon snapping with energy. Quite abruptly, Vira found herself a-tingle with some kind of warmth. Then, against her will, she reached down and began to undo the snaps on her boots. She was too stunned to speak: This little witch was _not_ doing this! But yes, Edna was. By her magic, Vira had already slipped off both of her boots, and was working on all of her accessories. Before Vira could manage to demand Edna to stop, she had already taken her dress up and off of her head. "Goodness," Edna squawked, laughing, "You had to do some laundry today, I suppose, Little Missy?"

Face burning, Vira waited for Edna to give her back control over her own body. It wasn't done. "Hey," Vira snapped, "Give me my body back! Now!" However, she found herself collecting her clothes, and walking around to Edna's side of the stone ring. With a hiss, steaming, clean smelling water filled what was now apparent as a tub. Mortified, Vira found herself bending over, tail raised up, and taking up a brush and some soap. "I'll get you for this," she snarled, as she got down to work cleaning off her clothes. She found a drying rack appearing nearby, and Edna forced her to walk over and hang them up with a little bounce in her step. Vira knew that folks in the Haunted Woods were nuts, but this was _insane_.

Then, she found herself getting into the tub. Well, this was apparently Edna's little fantasy come true, so Vira decided to hold her tongue for a while. A bucket floated into her hand, as Vira's form bent over double (facing away from Edna, of course) to fill it with soapy water. She turned to face Edna, and poured it down over her body. It ran down her perky breasts and slender, shapely legs, loosening up the gunk in her fur. Then, came the washing itself. I can't say _how_ Edna made Vira wash herself, but by the end, the mutated Acara was cleaner than she'd been in ages. Released from the control, she was also forced to lean on the rim of the slowly emptying tub; panting, hot, and completely spent.

So, she welcomed Edna's directing of a towel to dry her off. Vira growled at how the process got a little too focused on her chest, then between her legs, but eventually, she was able to leave the tub without Edna trying to screw her over (perhaps literally) again. Wrapping a towel around herself, Vira followed the diminutive witch up to a small parlor, where she was served tea with an eyeball in it and Deviled Steak. For a while, Vira was able to relax. That is, until Edna began searching around for something; cursing the whole time. Then, when she looked at Vira, the mutated Acara desperately tried to refuse before Edna could ask.

"Look," Edna said. "I have a very important magical object, on the outskirts of Faerieland. I need a fast flyer on short notice to get it, or that blasted Crafting Faerie will keep it for herself. I know I haven't been the most cooperative, but can you _please_ do this? _Please?_" The worried, and rather apologetic look on her face was simply too much. Caving, Vira wordlessly nodded in agreement. Thus, that was how she found herself taking off from the roof of Edna's tower, desperately trying to keep her towel in place. By the time she had cleared the Haunted Woods' center, Vira actually felt confident that she'd make it. That is, until she heard a squawk behind and above her.

From that direction, a Crokabek swooped down, and promptly began tugging on the bottom of Vira's towel. "Wait! Stop! You little shit!" Vira tried to hold onto her towel, even as the need to orient her flying meant it was slowly slipping. Eventually, she was flying upside down, legs spread, trying to keep the end of the towel over her netheregions for dear life. But with a sudden tug, she was sent spinning through the air. Righting and covering herself, Vira cussed as loudly as she dared after the winged Petpet. However, she was just over the edges of Faerieland. Realizing the moon was behind her, Vira dived before anyone could spot her silhouette. Covering herself while crouched in the brush, Vira looked desperately for the Crafting Faerie.

She did know her name to be Delina, and upon seeing said name on a plank of wood above a doorway, Vira came up with a cunning plan. This was to hold two limbs (one forked, over the two sides of her lower body, and the other over her chest) and bolt for it. Once she reached the door, Vira removed the branch from her chest for a brief moment to hit the doorbell, then covered up again._ Please,_ she pleaded mentally, _please, let this be over soon._ The door began to open.

The magenta-haired Faerie, with no makeup, looked down at Vira curiously. Delina herself was wearing only a sleeveless shirt that exposed her midriff, and a pair of spotted pale and dark purple panties. Despite herself, the oddity of a Dark Faerie snorted back a laugh. "Come on in, for Fyora's sakes," she giggled. "Those twigs aren't covering ya up very well." Vira was absolutely mortified by the time she made it through the door.

Once inside, she explained herself to Delina. The Faerie nodded, fixing Vira a mug of hot chocolate, and letting the mutated Acara try to warm up. Vira found that Delina fixed a good, proper hot chocolate - Melting dark chocolate into cream, and sprinkling cinnamon on top. It was for how sheerly delicious the hot chocolate was that Vira didn't notice Delina herself drinking in the view before her.

By the time she'd finished, Vira was feeling a little more comfortable. This lasted all up until she looked up, and saw that Delina now had no shirt on, and a skimpy purple bra. "I'd be fine with you taking that thing to Edna," the Crafting Faerie said, working on unfastening her bra, "So long as you'll do me a few _favors._" Vira was certain that this was absolute Unishit, but could no longer give a damn. She listened to Delina's demands...

A good two hours later, dressed in baggy, sickeningly vibrant purple clothes, Vira left with the box in tow. At least Delina had given her decent, ordinary underwear - Not that Vira was going out anywhere, for the whole day ahead. Maybe not even two or three, or a week! At last back to Edna's Tower, Vira entered, and handed off the box.

She left to put her normal, reasonably dried clothes back on, and returned to find the box opened. On Edna's head was the parcel within: an ugly-ass hat, with folds her eyes and mouth. For a long, looong time, neither of the two spoke.

That was until Vira began screaming, and delivered the most brutal beatdown in the Haunted Woods for over a century.


End file.
